Mum

Your proximity to heaven scares me. When I drive to see you through winters dark, I am frightened that you might already be there.
I do not like that you walk with such difficulty, that your hair is thin grey and that I feel pain when I watch you move.

Crisps, sweets, grapes foist on me though I rarely eat them.

Repeated questions about repeated subjects,

'What was that?' at every texts chime

Still angry at people I have long forgiven.

Then,....a meal. Not perfect. A bit dry...  you worked so hard on it

     -   For me

     -   Your reason

Thank you my darling Mum

I love you  xxxx

removal from jurisdiction

The ''application for leave to remove children from jurisdiction.'' That means the removal of children by one parent to another area or country. My children will be taken from my country (the country of their birth) to another country if I consent to it. My refusal in consenting means that I am 'causing them distress. '

I can instantly alleviate their distress by agreeing to them leaving. But I want to be included in their lives, in the decision making and nurturing and support which they need. I have always been here for that, though I have been excluded from the faculty to provide it. And I want to feel and experience the love that they have to give to me.  They say they ''want to go.''  So they know what they want. I think I know what they need. But then nestling in my sub conscious is a sense of the possibility of  personal freedom, to re-find the individual that is 'me.' Self. Selfless. Right. Wrong.  I have only ever tried to be available to them, to love them, protect them,... and to reconcile this with their liberty as individuals. They are not my property. They are not their mother's property. They are not the property of the legal system.

Not normal

A recent discussion in the pub revolved around the definition of ''normal.''    Mountain hare was genially and fondly (I think) referred to as "definitely not normal."  I was flattered.

Conclusion? Not normal is the new normal.